A TRIBUTE TO TERRI NIDA

2 Corinthians 4:16 (NIV)

16 Therefore, we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.

“Some life circumstances are not meant to be understood; the call is just to keep moving forward one step at a time. That’s called faith.” I wrote this on my Facebook page a few days before my neck was broken in August 2013. – Terri Nida

On January 12, 2025, God called Terri Nida, a dedicated sister in Christ, home. Her life exemplified the basic principle behind 2 Corinthians 4:16, and her faith served as a significant source of inspiration to a multitude of others. During her journey as a quadriplegic for more than 11 years, Terri shared how God supported her through her life’s challenges, which in turn, had enlightened many of us to view our own lives through a more spiritual lens. Terri consistently demonstrated God's love to her family, friends, and caregivers and in 2015, she began spreading her wisdom to a broader audience with her blogs on her website known as Diaryofaquadrapelgic.com. I knew Terri prior to her joining the team for a church planting in Washington D.C. over 25 years ago, but it was through reading her blog posts that I came to deeply appreciate her unwavering faith and its profound impact on my own spiritual journey as I have been wrestling with my diagnosis of terminal lung cancer.

I was first introduced to Terri’s website during the time that I had been struggling with accepting my inability to work full-time. In April 2023, I was hospitalized with chest pain and extreme shortness of breath, leading to intense frustration over my body’s lack of functionality. Following the doctor’s orders, I took a two-week leave from work. Subsequently, my boss informed me that my FMLA time had expired, resulting in the loss of my full-time position and being transferred to labor pool. Given my physical limitations which have restricted me to working no more than 5 hours a day and for only 2 days a week, my earning potential substantially decreased. Finally following the Holy Spirit’s guidance, I applied for disability benefits from the Social Security Administration (SSA).

God has always provided all my physical needs, and this time was no different. My parent’s neighbor, who had recently been approved for disability, gave me contact information of the individual who had helped him with his application. Due to my terminal condition, I was approved for receiving my benefits from SSA within just a few weeks.

Although my earned income dropped from $35,000 in 2022 to $8500 in 2023, money was not my main concern. Years of working and living in the United States meant I had funds in SSA, which I can now withdraw due to my condition, providing me with some monthly income. Additionally, my parents have generously accommodated my living situation, making it possible to avoid any major bills. Thank you, Father God, and thank you mom and dad!

It was clear that I needed to confront my emotions and my faith regarding God’s plan for me with embracing my physical limitations. Someone suggested I read Terri’s blogs to help.

Over these past two years, I have come to realize that I must continually adjust my understanding and surrender my feelings about my weaknesses to God, just as Paul described as he wrestled with the thorn in his flesh.

2 Corinthians 12:8-10 (CBS)

8 Concerning this, I pleaded with the Lord three times that it would leave me. 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is perfected in weakness.”

Therefore, I will most gladly boast all the more about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may reside in me. 10 So I take pleasure in weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and in difficulties, for the sake of Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

What can I say? In my own capacity, it is challenging to boast in any form of weakness. It is weird for me to think that I can find any type of satisfaction in my shortcomings, in the insults, hardships, persecutions or any difficulties that I could go through for Christ’s sake. Give me a break! Who likes to suffer? My nature is to try to present myself as strong, capable, independent, courageous and in control because I want to always be this “perfect” person. On top of that, over the past few years, I have learned that I tend to avoid acknowledging any negative emotion and thought. Oh, and it gets worse once I finally admit what I have tried so hard to ignore! I criticize and berate myself, making me feel even more worthless, powerless, and useless – so far from that “perfect” person that I so desperately want to be. Ah, but this is the root of my sinful nature – my pride.

However, Paul heard God say that his grace was all that Paul needed. God knows I am full of nothing but a bunch of flaws and that I greatly desire to “know it all”, being perfect in every way. He understands my sinful nature more completely than I do. God is familiar with the challenge that I face every moment in letting go of any control and allowing him to lead. And Jesus died on the cross for that sin as well, enabling me to seek his help in my repentance and to willingly cry out, “God Father, not my will by Yours be done.” Consequently, his power can be demonstrated beautifully through my brokenness, permitting me to do, as Paul did, “gladly boast all the more about my weaknesses”.

So, reading Terri’s blogs has encouraged me to examine my attitudes towards my physical limitations more closely. Often, God’s perspective seems backward to me due to my worldly experiences. Without God, I cannot grasp his way of life and what he values, so I repeatedly need to be on my hands and knees. God wants me to remain humble and boast only in him, which helps to shift my values and perceptions to align more with his.

1 Corinthians 1:26-29 (ESV)

26 For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. 27 But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; 28 God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, 29 so that no human being might boast in the presence of God.

I cannot deny it though: I seem to thrive with performing tasks. I often experience a great sense of accomplishment with a surge of positive emotion when I complete various projects. I take great pleasure in paying attention to details and overcoming challenges. I am constantly looking for ways to achieve meaningful work in hopes to feel needed, respected, appreciated, and heard. Basically, I strive to achieve a sense of significance through my contributions.

I understand that its normal to have these feelings and desires. However, I have realized that my focus has been primarily on satisfying my own needs and desires. I have allowed my achievements and failures to become my idols. I let my works to define me, looking to them for my worth. So yes, mix in a bit of selfishness with my sin of pride.

My worldly experiences make it difficult for me to retrain my mind and heart to focus on the truth, especially as a workaholic who fears being unable to work. The thought of relying on others for daily tasks scares me. How can I still feel respected, needed and appreciated when I must constantly look to others to meet my needs? As Terri had done, I must choose to stay in God’s word and be with his people. I must also regularly call on the Holy Spirit for direction and guidance. Because satan repeatedly attacks my faith, as I use these God-given tools, I am reminded to look to my Heavenly Father for his love and values. Lord Jesus, help me see that your grace is sufficient for me as I continue to battle with this thorn in my flesh!

When Nathan, the prophet, had pointed out David’s sin of adultery and murder (2 Samuel 11 & 12), David knew that he needed to plead for God’s grace. Fully aware that only God had the power to forgive, David begged God for his mercy according to his faithful love and compassion for David. He also understood that God’s focus is not just on what we do, but more on our hearts so David also pleaded with God to create within him a pure heart.

Psalm 51: 1, 10, 16-17 (NIV)

1 Have mercy on me, O God,    according to your unfailing love;according to your great compassion    blot out my transgressions.

10 Create in me a pure heart, O God,    and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

16 You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;    you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.17 My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit;    a broken and contrite heart    you, God, will not despise.

I have witnessed many times this God-given peace where my focus is no longer on worrying about what I can do. The Holy Spirit must continuously calm me with assurance that God looks at my heart. He desires for me to respond out of gratitude and obey as best as I can to doing only God’s will. Throughout scripture it says that it is not by our own works that we are saved but only through God’s grace and our faith in his beautiful love and mercy for us.

Ephesians 2:8-10 (CSB)

8 For you are saved by grace through faith, and this is not from yourselves; it is God’s gift— 9 not from works, so that no one can boast. 10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared ahead of time for us to do.

Though I relish when projects are completed and I absolutely love how that sense of accomplishment makes me feel, God has shown me that our life journeys are always full of perpetual opportunities for growth. It is never a “one-and-done deal.”

Over the past 9 years, Terri had shared how she had embraced this whole learning process. She wrote what and how God revealed to her as she wrestled with him about his plans for her day, her week, and her life. Her writings have inspired me to look for God’s revelations for me as I struggle with my various attitudes toward my challenges.

So, because of all these lovely blessings that God has provided me, I give this glorious Tribute to my beautiful sister in Christ who had fought the good fight, having finished her race and who has kept her faith. She is now waiting for her crown of righteousness that the Lord Jesus will award her on the last day. (2 Timothy 4:7-8)

On Monday, February 17, 2025, I will be getting my three-month CT scan to see how my body has responded to my prior treatments. I know that God is in control of all things and currently I am at peace with whatever the findings are. However, I know how satan is constantly on the prowl, and I am aware of some of my sinful tendencies and that my life’s journey will always be full of God’s beautiful lessons along the way.

It was God’s plan that I would meet Terri so many years ago and that my friend would suggest to me at just that right time for me to start reading Terri’s blogs. Reflecting on Terri’s life and her peaceful passing, I am inspired to fully embrace all of God’s plans for me. I desire to approach the completion of my race with the same peace described by her family. I strive to make the most of every moment and learn those valuable lessons along the way. To achieve this, I request your continued support and prayers.

To God be the glory! Amen!